I pulled out another old paper, this time from my freshman writ101 class a few years ago based on an assignment to write about our bioregion. At the time I thought it was awesome, now I'm not so convinced, but nevertheless it still makes me misty eyed to read of how much I love Missoula(so cheesy I know). oh, and sorry about the length, if you don't want to read it all, skip to the second half ;)
“Missoula Montana. A place. sort of.” Reads my Rockin Rudy’s t-shirt. To me, there is no better place. Born and raised in upstate New York, I’ve grown to love and revel in the differences from my hometown and “zoo-town”. I’ve been coming here during summers throughout my entire life for countless family reunions, and over the years, Missoula has become a truly special place to me, one that holds so many memories, so many discoveries, and has taught me so much about myself. When I’m in Missoula, I feel a true sense of home, peace, and place. It has without a doubt become my bioregion.
A bioregion helps you discover who you are, where you’re going, and helps you to develop by being an ecosystem into which you fit. It’s where you plant your roots and become connected to your surroundings. It revolves around the people, the organic environment, the experiences, the choices, and the memories, and the thinking, reflection, and learning that results. It’s a place that helps you to become a smaller part to a whole, and feel complete through that process.
Missoula is a town that satisfies all of the above for me. I first realized my love for this place at 13. As a passenger in our big stuffy van, on a 3 day endless road to Montana, I was wide awake, with my face pressed against the window nearly the entire time. I peered out onto the landscape as if everything we passed was something to watch, pay attention to, and think about. I was so in love with the wildness of the mountains, rivers, fields, and nature that Montana holds, and the long trip was well worth it when we finally arrived in Helena for our big family reunion.
As usual, that summer my family stayed a few extra weeks at my Aunt Judy’s home in Missoula, where I spent a lot of time in the hammock strung between two shrubby pines. Tucked into the back of Judy’s beautiful overgrown back yard, I enjoyed simply sitting there in solitude, absorbing the surroundings. I’d listen to the nearby aspens shake their leaves, look out onto Mount Jumbo, and feel the heat of the august air, so lightweight compared to the heavy humid air of New York. As I sat there, rocking back and forth, looking out on the backdrop of mountains, I imagined myself staying in Missoula forever. I was surprised to find myself welcoming the idea rather than feeling frightened by it. I found myself wanting more than anything to never leave, I was willing to drop nearly everything in my life, just for that. It was then that I realized I’d never felt this sense of home for my actual hometown, and to me that was a big deal, and quite the revelation.
Since then, my appreciation and attachment to Missoula has changed and evolved. I’m so fortunate to have such an outgoing and close-knit family to expose me to such a wonderful place that became a huge part of who I am. Through countless bike rides downtown to Caras Park, the Saturday markets, and First Friday art-walks, I discovered a strong sense of community and connectivity that was always lacking in New York. This awareness was strengthened when my aunt took me to the P.E.A.S farm to do some volunteering. Spending an afternoon on my hands and knees getting covered in dirt for a good cause made me realized that a community like this counts on citizens to pitch in and contribute, and It helped me to connect further to Missoula.
There’s certain things about this place I just can’t get over. I love that some people here, like me, have grown up without a television. I love the possibility of biking just about anywhere you need to get, that the community is full of people who actually believe that they have the power to bring about change. The happy people and unique culture really drew me here.
So it was no mystery why I decided to come here for college. However, it wasn’t long after I unpacked my three bulging suitcases into my dorm room the size of a large bathroom that the reality of the risk I’d just taken set in. I started to feel nervous that maybe this school wasn’t really for me. Thrown into this completely new situation, into a new place where I didn’t know anyone, had me doubting my decision, and doubting Missoula. As I scheduled my classes, met my advisor, and found my way around campus, I felt lost and confused by my new surroundings. The more time I spent on campus, the more closed in I felt. I kept moving, and kept busy that first week to keep from breaking down. I didn’t miss New York one bit, but the place I was in right then, was by no means the Missoula I knew, it was it’s own bubble of the unfamiliar which I couldn’t escape from. I felt trapped, the world was spinning around me and I couldn’t slow it down to think or get a grip on something. Had my bioregion failed me? Where was the peace, comfort and sense of home it had always made me feel?
I jumped at the chance to attend Judy’s fondu party at the end of that first week of college. My mom was still in town and this was a chance to get off campus and back into the Missoula, Montana I knew and loved. It turned out to be exactly what I needed. That evening as the sun started to set and the moon started to rise, I felt that sense of home again. Sitting there, around a bonfire, in my favorite little yard in the world, listening to someone strumming to “California Stars” on the guitar, I felt a reassurance that I was in the right place. All the things that connected me to Missoula pulled me out of this confusion and stress that I had been swamped with, and I sank into my bioregion once again. While gazing up into the bright Montana starry sky, and feeling the warmth of the fire and friends, I knew I was where I needed to be. I belonged.
I still go back to my Aunt Judy’s house when I need to feel that reassurance, and it has ceased to fail me. It’s always there to remind me how much I love the mountains, the Clark Fork river, the downtown, the people who bike to work at the age of 60, who make a living at a non profit, who care about this place just as much as I do, and do all they can to preserve it. As my first year here has come to a finish, I’ve found many more ways to remind me of these things, such as volunteering places, being involved with community events, and just spending as much time off campus as I can, going to the river, big dipper, or the Break. All of these things help me to feel integrated into this little town which I love being a part of. No place beats MisSOULa, Montana. My favorite description of the types of people who live here is that they don’t come for the jobs, opportunity for success, or because the schools are impressive. They come here for a lifestyle (I know I did). That, to me, is what Missoula is all about, living and loving life, the best way possible.
